What I’ve Learned From Getting Married Young

PEOPLE WILL DOUBT YOU

We’re young. Only 21, closer to 22 now. Although no one has said this to our faces, I’m sure we had a lot of doubters when we said we were engaged, and we probably still do a year into our marriage. I’ve heard through my mom and some friends what others have said to them about us. That we’re “too young”. (Well, we’re of legal age, so no, we’re not too young.) Or “what’s the rush?”. ( Why wait? I get to spend my life with my best friend, why wouldn’t I want that?) Or “Is she pregnant?”. (No, I wasn’t pregnant when I got married, I’m not pregnant now, and we don’t plan on it for at least a few years. Not that it’s any one else’s business, even if I was.)

PEOPLE WILL JUDGE YOU

When I tell some people that I’m married, they get this look of shock that morphs into a fake enthusiasm. They’ll then ask about Avery and when we got married and a myriad of others details on which to judge us. I won’t lie. It’s hard to know that people will judge me based on the fact that I chose to be tied to one person for the rest of my life at a relatively young age. Some act as though my life as I know it is ending. I used to feel like I had to prove that my love for Avery was real enough. And when I feel that way, I remind myself that my marriage is between me and Avery and no one else.

YOUR PARTNER WILL PISS YOU OFF

Avery does this thing where he asks me to do things that he’s more than capable of doing. Like we’ll be sitting on the couch and he’ll ask me to get him a water bottle or heat him up some food or get his work boots from the room or any other small task that wouldn’t normally bother me, but when I spend all day running around doing these small things, it really grinds my gears. What makes him incapable of doing any of these things?! Nothing! And I tell him this every few days. And then I get over it. Because IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL. Certainly not worthy of the energy it would take to fight about it.

AND THEY’LL MAKE YOU HAPPIER THAN YOU EXPECTED

I do a lot of the cleaning around the apartment. (Avery, you know it’s true. Don’t argue with me.) And it’s fine with me because I don’t like having the place a mess. So today when I found that Avery had folded the towels without me having to ask, I was beyond grateful. Not because I wouldn’t have to do it, but because I know that folding laundry is his most hated household chore. The fact that he took the time to do this to help me out despite the fact that he despises it (and is terrible at it) shows me he cares. Who knew I’d be so happy over some folded towels in a laundry basket?

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8 thoughts on “What I’ve Learned From Getting Married Young

  1. Marisa I know you are not up easily to people you are unsure of… but believe me i was once there. I tried to make small talk to make you more sure of me, but it didnt work. I have done it for almost 12 years now. It gets much easier, I promise. I know I might not be your “type” to befriend, but I love Avery as a brother and know alittle about him. I can help some 🙂 It can be challenging, but worth it in the end. If you are ever up for giving me a chance. I am here

    1. Thank you so much. I’m not so much unsure as I am shy around new people. It takes a while for me to warm up and come out of my shell. Which is why Avery and I are such a funny pair in that way because he’s so outgoing. And I really appreciate you reaching out to me, thank you. 🙂

  2. A marriage takes some work. This may be hard to do at times but always try and treat each other as you did when you were dating. Take the time to go on dates.

  3. I appreciate this message heavily. My situation is different, but I also believe that if you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them, then do it! I am happy you found your someone! You found it early, so I consider you one of the lucky ones:) Be blessed.

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